The funeral I remember going to was my great grandfather's. It was spring break, and I had to miss my friend Nicole's birthday party so we could drive across the country to attend the funeral. I remember the casket being in a room in the church, but I don't remember really looking at it. I remember the cultural hall being full of people, and being told they were all related to me, which was a mind-blowing concept. But other than that, I really don't remember to much about the funeral.
I am pretty sure I attended the funeral of my best friend's brother, but I honestly don't remember anything about that funeral. I do remember being in my bedroom sometime afterwards and my best friend saying something about it. I can't recall what she said, I can just remember being in the room with her.
About two years ago I went to the funeral of a coworkers' wife. A couple of us at work went together because we thought it was the right thing to do. I am glad I went to shake his hand and offer some support. It was a wonderful service. At other churches they actually have the sacrament as part of the funeral service. Also, the minister, because they are professional ministers, gave a really really good eulogy.
Yesterday I went to the viewing. I saw the casket from the line a ways back and realized that I can't really look at dead people. So I talked to the family, and then skipped out of the line to avoid direct contact with the casket. I am glad I went to the viewing though, because I got to say hi to my friends and chat with them for a bit and offer support. At the funeral today there was no time for that. The best part of the funeral was getting to see other friends. Two of my friends came in and we rode together and got lunch. It is always nice to visit with people. And I got to see another friend and he is just the best guy ever (yes, my sisters will know exactly who I am talking about). So that was totally great. I mean, you don't really want to see people at this type of thing, but honestly, we all know that is the benefit of weddings and funerals... seeing people you don't often run into.
But I was surprised that people don't wear black. Have I just been watching death in movies for too long? Is black no longer funeral attire? I wore all black.... black shoes, nylons, skirt, and sweater with my black overcoat. I think I was one of maybe 5 people who were wearing all black. People wore pink and bright red and white and crazy patterned tights with stiletto heels that looked like they were meant for clubbing...... It was kind of surprising.
I was also surprised by the talks. In our church we don't have professional clergy, so the eulogy and talks were just given by people who knew the deceased. But one of them went into alot of detail about the illness and hospital visits, and that just made me uncomfortable. It was too personal. Maybe that is what a funeral is about, but I was imagining more of an overview, the highlights of his life...... maybe some funny stories, some touching stories, but the best way you would want to remember him. Not the end, which was painful and hard for him and his family.
I was also noticing the similarities between weddings and funerals. Both have lines you walk through. Also, there are registry books to sign, flower arrangements, and musical numbers.
However, weddings are a big party, and funerals are very melancholy.
So I suppose that is the bottom line. The weekend was melancholy, and I am not really interested in attending a funeral for someone who is closer to me, so nobody can die. Got it?
5 comments:
Did Pres. Wilson pass away? Was the fabulous guy Lamont Council? He is fabulous, of course I haven't seen him in years, but I'm sure he's still a stud.
Oh and I want my funeral to be a party. Only embarassing/hilarious stories of me are to be shared. My playlist will be "only the good die young (if I die in the next ten years)" "another one bites the dust" and "spirit in the sky (creepy eh, but great song)" .... definitely nothing like "fire and rain" (love it, but way too depressing).
Oh and I do appreciate black for a funeral. Not completely necessary, but it's respectful. The teal or pink heels are definitely not the best choice of attire. I think for my funeral though I'm going to pre-dictate that I prefer people to wear anything argyle. In loving memory of carla..... the best pattern ever.
Anyhow, sorry about the sad weekend. You could always embrace it and watch Steel magnolias now. Great movie, but definitely better if you're not killing a previously great mood/day.
Hey Heather! Yeah...funerals can be awkward and they really aren't a place to make a fashion statement. Well, that is unless the deceased wants everyone to dress a certain way. I knew of a guy who was so obsessed with fishing that he not only wanted his boat following the hearse, but wanted everyone to be dressed in casual fishing attire. I also pulled over for a funeral procession one time that consisted of 100's of bikers. They were all wearing neon orange t-shirts. It was quite a sight.
No, President Wilford passed away (maybe that is what you meant). And yes, it was Lamont. Lamont is fantastic!!!!
I would love to wear argyle to your funeral, but I am not prepared for your funeral to be anytime in the next 10 years. So don't plan on leaving.
The fishing funeral sounds interesting. I am going to have to work on what I want people to wear to my funeral and what songs should be played :)
Yeah I've been to a number of funerals in the past few years and people aren't really wearing black as much. I'm not sure about the bright pink etc. but definitely not full black. I guess it depends on what the immediate family believes as far as whether there's a life after death. Wearing black kinda adds to the melancholy feeling, but people are in a better place so it can't all be bad. It is weird seeing a dead person. Although to be honest, I'd rather see a dead person in a casket than a dead person with all the nasty blood after a tragic accident or something gruesome.
Carla should not be prepared to die for at least 50-65+ more years, not that 10 you mentioned. I also don't think that bold colors are appropriate for funerals. My Aunt wore white to her husbands funeral to symbolize eternity. I think everyone handles grief in different ways. I like black for all occassions though. This past week Jim and I were talking about funerals and he told me for the 10th time that he does NOT want an open casket. He said "I don't want anyone to see me dead!" Which made me laugh a lot.
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