It's been one week...

I am on a business trip. It has been a long week. Let me dispel the myth of the business trip.

1. Exotic destinations - Even if you are going somewhere that people might take a vacation to, the most you see of it is the airport, the hotel, and your assigned workspace. You have to attach vacation days to your business trip to do some sightseeing, and often the demands of the business don't let you do that.
2. Great food - Being stuck in a conference room with 7 other people until 10 PM at night where they bring in pizza with anchovies, shrimp, and broccoli on it does not count as great food.
3. Free Time - I usually enjoy traveling because I get cable in the hotel.... this week I have had exactly a half hour to watch TV before I am so exhausted I have to sleep so I can get up and do it all over again.
4. You are there until you finish - I will not be home for my birthday to enjoy my mom's homemade rolls

But there is always a silver lining. I do get to see my sister, which will be totally awesome, and because work extended my business trip, they offered to pay for me to visit my sister. So now it is totally free for me to go see her. Plus, I do have a job, which is a great blessing. So I am not really complaining. Mom's rolls will keep another week.

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish

HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy Series

Life changes. People move away. And frankly, I am tired of it. I think I was meant to be born in a time when everyone for 5 generations of your family lived in the same small town, all the neighbors had lived there their whole lives, and your best friend lived next door and never left. I know..... there are alot of people I wouldn't have met had my life actually been lived in such a town, but here me out. This year close to everyone I really liked having around have moved because of jobs. Which is a great thing for them because a job is a wonderful thing to have. But this blog is not about them and how great their opportunities are, and how fortunate they are. It is about me, who gets left behind to only have phone conversations and miss them. You know, you can feel homesick when you are the one left at home. In my class last semester we read several articles about homesickness and whether it was a disease or a mental state. What I can say for sure is that it has nothing to do with a place, and everything to do with people. So for all you people who have moved, know you are missed. Of course, I will also say that I have vacation time, so there is a perk to people moving away, it gives me new places to visit, and I have really enjoyed the visits I have gone on so far, and am looking forward to some new trips :)
Just because people move does not mean you won't see them again. You might think you never will. It might take 10 years, but sometimes things just work out. I have a best friend that has been my best friend for over 20 years. We grew up together, and I moved away, and you would think after college you wouldn't necessarily keep up, but then she moved to where I lived, and it has been fantastic. I have really enjoyed being friends as adults. So even though we won't live in the same state for a while, you never know.
So here's a shout out to friends that really do last a lifetime:

Jan 7 1991 Monday
This year Liz and I have decided to give little presents to 1 kid each month. For instance, O.B. (Oliver) is for January. We gave him a pinball machine, a chinese yo-yo, and another thing which I forget. We are going by secret names like Birthday Blastors and Halloween Haunters.
Today Liz and I practiced spying. We're pretty good.
We threw snowballs at Terek and Shane. Then Liz and I ran down to her house because the boys were hot on our tails. I started to build a fort. Large enough to hold Liz and I but small enough not to get a breezy chill. Liz held off the boys, who weren't that hard because they couldn't aim. I finished the fort in about 20-25 min. and I'm not lieing. I really hope there is no school, or at least a late opening or early closing. I really can't stand school!

Back to the Future

I have been attending some business seminar classes this semester because I had the wild idea that I would like to own my own business. I am very very grateful for these classes, because they have opened my eyes to what I would like and what I wouldn't like about owning a business.
But the most interesting thing I have learned is the reason people want to start their own business is that they want to become someone new. They have imagined a different future for themselves, one in which they are different, and to fulfill the vision, they want to start a business.
Part of a business plan is writing down the specifics of the business so that everyone has the same vision you do of your business. The location, the clientele, the way you fit into it, how you will expand, etc.
I think it is useful once in a while to sit back and think about life in a very specific way. Not just, I want to go to Paris someday, but I would like to go to Paris for my 35th birthday and eat my birthday dinner near the Eiffel tower. That is what a business plan should say, I am going to open a store at the corner of Elm and Market, I will own the building and lease the top floor, I will advertise by having a really cool sign, and participate in the local news paper, I expect my clientele to be mostly foot traffic because it is in a restored downtown area..... and on and on with the specifics.
The main thing many of the instructors emphasized was, if all you want out of starting your own business is a new life, there are easier and cheaper ways of getting a new life! You can join a gym, you can get a different job, you can move, you can redecorate your house. All of which they say would be less stressful than starting your own business. This got me to thinking, because lately I have had the itch to have a new life. To be a better version of myself. To become the funny, charming, physically fit, knowledgeable person I know is somewhere in there. But all of those are general words. To change, we have to get down to the specifics. For example, one person I know at work says her motivation for getting up an exercising is she can vividly imagine herself at 65 playing with grandchildren on the beach, running into the water and helping them swim and build sandcastles. She believes that if she exercises now, she will be able at 65 to do that kind of activity. But it is a very specific vision that helps her get out of bed on dark, cold mornings.
The one specific thing I hold onto is the idea of an early retirement. But I think I need to work on what I imagine my life will be after I retire, because then I can be working towards those specific goals, and not just the generic big idea of "early retirement". So here's to imagining the future!

Dancing Queen

Young and Sweet, Only 17


Once upon a time I loved going to dances. We used to drive to Raleigh for the once a month YSA dances, and they were a blast. You would get dressed up and do up your hair and makeup and then go see if there was anyone interesting to meet. It was the mormon version of clubbing. If there was someone interesting, you were always trying to separate yourself from your girlfriends so that the guy wasn't intimidated to come ask you to dance. Sometimes, if you were bold, you would ask him to dance. There is something about music that just gets inside my bones and I want to dance. I am not a good dancer, but I just like to dance.
My friend called me and asked if I wanted to go to one of these dances. It has been a long time since I have gone to a dance, so at first I was like..... hmmmmm...... dance or stay home and sit in my comfy recliner and watch the Office........ I caved and went to the dance. I put on my "Mary Kay Dramatic Eye Makeup" look, a cute tuxedo style top and my trouser jeans. When I got to the dance I felt way overdressed. It wasn't at all like I remember dances from college. So either my memory is faulty, or things have changed. What I remember is the entire gym at the Raleigh Stake Center being full of people at the dance, it was so hot you were automatically drenched in sweat when you walked in, the refreshment table always had sugar treats and drinks on it, and there were a few chairs, but for the most part, only a few people hung back on the wall. Now the dance takes up half the gym in the Apex Stake Center, and it is pretty empty. Although, I am told that what I consider pretty empty is a good turnout. But then the music started to play, and I just can't stop my feet from doing the DDR dance. Then they played NSync, and I wanted to do the video dance to Bye Bye Bye. Later they did a fabulous 80s song, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. At this point, I am thinking Karaoke might be more fun than a dance. Karaoke is a solo activity, and it probably doesn't have the awkward slow songs to interrupt the fun songs. I enjoy singing along to good songs, almost as much as I like dancing to them.
I had made up my mind after posting about telling someone I work at IBM and having their eyes glaze over that that wasn't going to be my problem anymore. If people are amazed at what I do, great. I am not going to try to downplay what I do anymore. So someone asked me to dance. He happens to be quite a bit younger than me, hasn't been to school after high school, and is a salesman for an electrical company. He asked if I was in school, and I said no I work at IBM... as someone who writes software programs.... His response: you must be one of those really smart computer people then. Yes, I am. So what kind of software? The kind that manages information, keeping track of changes to the assets in your business..... Wow. So did you get your education in that? Yes, I went to Carolina to get my degree..... At this point he walks away. Jokingly. So I said, oh, you are a State fan. He said no, at the moment he is an ECU fan. I didn't really think we had a rivalry with ECU, but whatever. Anyway his eyes were totally glazed over, but it might be because he realized I was older than his oldest brother :) hehehehehe
Bottom line, while it wasn't the dances I remember, it wasn't the worst way to spend 45 minutes. And my recliner probably could use a break from me sitting in it :)

Party like it's 1999

Today one of my best friends turned 30 (she will remain anonymous to protect the guilty.... I mean, to not highlight how old any of us are getting). She hosted a cook out at her new house, which was a great excuse to get together and visit. However, somehow being 30 involves children, which means the visiting is not like it was in the good old days. Don't get me wrong, I like kids. (Yea, ok, this is a blog, and who knows who reads it, so I have to say that). Honestly, I like some kids, not all kids. The kids I like are the ones I know. For example, I happen to enjoy playing with one kid, whom I taught how to build a fort one time. That was awesome. Oh, and we went bike riding.... well, I pushed the bike. That was fun. I enjoy babies that are cute and let an amateur like myself hold them, and they just smile. As soon as the crying starts, back to mom they go. Oh, and if a child remembers me, they have totally won my heart. Mostly because I know kids memories are not like adults, so if you aren't always around, they really might not remember you.
Back to today. There was one child at the party who let me help put together a puzzle. I am cool with that. It involves letting the child try to figure out the pieces, and gently suggesting some possibilities. However, there were other children who were hard to distinguish from jumping beans. They wandered around, got up and down, and while I know it is a party, and maybe we should be "jump up jump up and get down" (or however the song goes... you know the one) I just found myself thinking, thank goodness for a calm and quiet home! I have always felt this way, wanting peace and quiet. I was seven years old, and we were living in Scotland. There were 4 kids, and in Scotland they didn't know what a minivan or a station wagon was, so we all had to pile in the backseat of a sedan. On one occasion it had been a while since I had been around my entire family, and as we piled into the car, it was noisy and crowded, I remember looking out the window and thinking it would be nice to be in a quiet place. One of my favorite quotes is from Home Alone, where Macauley Culkin says, "When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone!" The other thing I find interesting is apparently parents get some sort of equipment or ear piece from the hospital so that these things do not register to them. Parents can carry on conversations with other adults while children are jumping around and doing whatever it is kids do all the time. I find it very hard to have a conversation when kids are around.... I think because I am not used to constant interruptions.

So then the other thing about the party is I didn't know all the adults there. So you introduce yourself, explain how you know the host, and then usually ask people what their job is, or if they are in school, or how old that jumping bean is that they call a kid :) One particular encounter highlights how awkward I sometimes find my state of life. A woman that my friend had known a couple of years ago was there, and she is single. So I asked her what she does for work, and she said she didn't have a job. So I asked about school, and she said she had just moved to the area, and had been going to school previously. So I said oh so you are getting settled and finding a new job now that you are done with school, that is great. So she asked what I did, and I told her I work at IBM. At this point most people get the wow look on their face, and so she asked what I do there, and I said I write software, and at this point she is backing away with a really wow look on her face. Now I feel that she is backing away because she has been confronted with a person who obviously has their life together because they have a concrete job. And I always feel awkward having a concrete job in front of people who are still figuring out what they want to do, because I don't have it all figured out. I am just very blessed to have a job that I seem to be good at.

Closing Time... You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

Work has gotten a little insane. For example, we were writing some software labeled 7.1.2 to be shipped at the end of 2009. Then management said ship it in June but have all the same stuff in it, then they said, change it to be 7.2, ship it in June with more stuff in it. The more stuff in less time is the insane part.

This has caused several of us to comment that we would rather work at Wendy's. And it got me thinking about my past jobs. I never did work at Wendy's, but my sister did and would sometimes bring home frosty's. That is a nice perk :) My first job was working at Brueggers Bagels. Yea, this was funny because one time I had to stand outside in the parking lot with one of those signs to try to get people to come into the store. Ok, perhaps humiliating is more like it. For my break I would always get a plain bagel with honey because it was 50 cents. Then a coworker introduced me to the everything bagel with a side of honey mustard, also 50 cents. Seriously, you dip the everything bagel into the honey mustard..... it is really really good. And I am not a big mustard fan. My boss had to show me how to make coffee, because up until that point I had never been around a coffee maker. The hazelnut flavor smelled the best, but in general, I don't like the smell of coffee. Also, taking out the filters with soggy wet coffee grinds is gross.
The next job I had was working at a drug store. It was an awesome little drug store where this one guy and I basically ran it because the manager was not around. And I learned alot about the pharmacy because the pharmacist would let us help her behind the counter. I think technically you aren't supposed to be behind the counter if you aren't trained. There would be regulars, who would come in and want the same cigarettes from behind the cash register, so I would always have them ready when they walked in the door. And the manager let me photocopy my AP Euro history book so I could highlight important sections as I read the homework. The best part was opening up new displays and setting them up. It was also a good job during the school year because we closed at 9.
I once worked in a game store for two weeks.... until I got a better offer from WalMart. The game store was really boring, because you just straightened up the games, and ran the cash register and it wasn't very busy.
WalMart was an experience. This was the beginning of my ambition. WalMart paid the most money as a recent high school graduate, and I started out working at 5 am as a stocker so that I could then do the drug store in the afternoon and evenings. But then WalMart offered time and a half for inventory for two weeks, so I worked a lot. Then when the summer ended, I switched to second shift, but they don't stock second shift, so they were going to put me on registers, but that is boring, so I said I would become a customer service manager, which is the person who stands at the podium and has the keys to all the registers. That was an awesome job because I would manage the shifts, when people got breaks, and who was on what register. I would run around the store to get requests from layaway or the garden center. I got to climb the back storage shelves during christmas to put stuff on layaway or get it back out again. I ran that store, and I think I was very good at it. But then my boss, who was very cool with me being a CSM (even though I was barely 18), decided to go and be heroic and try to stop a guy from robbing us..... and broke his leg in the process. So he was out on medical leave for a month. And the manager who replaced him didn't appreciate my youthful vigor and success, and wanted to demote me back to being a cashier. So I decided that it was time to move on. My real boss came back my last week at WalMart, and said I could stay on, but you know how it is when you have made up your mind. The other thing I recall about working at WalMart was wearing tights that matched a solid colored shirt, and patterned skirts (like plaid). Who wears skirts to work at WalMart? Or my boots?

While I probably won't quit my current job to work at Wendys..... it is nice to think you have options. I would probably still be a really good CSM :)

Driving a pink cadillac

My best friend in elementary school belonged to the girl scouts, and she invited me to a girl scout activity to learn how to put on makeup. What I remember is sitting at one of those long folding tables and someone showing us how to put on eye shadow, three different colors in three lines on our eyes. It was a very girly night.
My next encounter with makeup was during a trip to the outlet stores with my other best friend in elementary school and her mom. Well, maybe they weren't outlet stores.... it was the huge mall with Ikea in it. So in this mall there were a million stores, and one of them was one of those huge makeup stores were everything is cheap, so I bought some mascara. It wasn't until I got it home that I realized it was teal. I mean.... really teal. I had no idea mascara came in other colors than black until that point!
In high school Clinique was the was the cool thing, and after college Ulta became cool. But essentially, the only makeup tricks I knew were the ones I learned at a girl scout activity.
That is, until I was invited to a Mary Kay party. Now come on, you knew where this was going based on the title. I will admit, I was a skeptic. The last time I went to a party of this type, I had to move out of the ward to quit being stalked to host a party :) But this was seriously awesome! The Mary Kay consultant was very knowledgeable, and she had a ton of different tricks, and she seemed like a real person. Also, I didn't feel pressured to buy anything, and I learned how to put mascara on my bottom lashes so my eyes look more open. During a Mary Kay party, you compliment each other. It isn't fake, you really do provide feedback based on what colors or things look good on each person. And you get really soft hands. So I agreed to host a Mary Kay party, because I had such a great time.
My party was even better! Because I was the host, I got special treatment (read: more colors to pick from to try out! Seriously, imagine a binder with those little plastic inserts in it full of different shades of eye shadow and blush). So this time around I learned how to apply eye liner to the bottom lashes which makes my eye lashes look even longer! I also learned how to add dimension to my eye based on my particular eye shape and eye lid shape. Yes, there is an entire book that shows different eye shapes and exactly how to use colors of eye shadow to accent your eyes and bring them out. Amazing! This is a vast improvement over the makeup counters in the mall that put the makeup on you, and you can't ever recreate the look at home. Anyway I realize this sounds like an advertisement for Mary Kay, but I am in no way affiliated with them. I just had a really great time, and had fun learning new techniques to apply makeup. So next time you see me..... notice how gorgeous my eyes are :)